I was born to live in London and eat herbs

Long ago in a lost time and place, the youngest daughter of a Jewish family found herself reading the Four Questions as Passover Seder. As she exercised her newfound skill of reading, she proudly orated for the entirety of the house's congregation the first and then the second question...

"Why is it that on all other nights we eat all kinds of herbs, but on this night we eat only bitter herbs?"

Laughter and sniggers peeled forth from the critical congregation as family and friends alike found themselves incapable at stifling their amusement at the small child's mispronunciation of the silent "h" in herbs.

Well, no more.

For that little girl has grown up into an albeit little but sassy young woman who finds herself in another country, where she is not mocked for her mistake! No no, she is PRAISED! Nay, HAILED AND BESTOWED WITH VARIOUS HONORS AND TITLES AND OTHER MEMORABILIA OF ADMIRATION!!! for her pronunciation of "herbs."

For indeed, friends, the British, a much older and wiser culture than the Americans, know how to pronounce their words. They pronounce the h in herbs, as one may notice in any Herbal Essences commercial or when someone is telling you their post code, which happens to have an h in it, at which point they'll say "haych"--like saying "hay" with ch on the end.

I'll admit, at first I was quite confused--what is the haych? What letter is this that I have up until now been completely ignorant of?

Ah, I see. It is the CORRECT way of saying h and herbs!

So to all you rebels across the pond, please silence your twatish nonsense and learn to pronounce things properly. Herb wants his herbs, and he wants his name and his greens pronounced correctly. And so do I.

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Oh, and our offer on the flat was accepted! We finalize the paperwork and the balance tomorrow (Tuesday)!