Amusing Odds and Ends

After putting down the deposit, I was back in Finsbury Park by early afternoon, both elated and exhausted--we had accomplished something! My birthday had found us a great flat, and the day after had found us each out 150 quid for the deposit. Not bad at all!

I decided I was taking the rest of the day off. So I grabbed the quilt made by my Patron, made some tea and got a bowl of grapes, and I settled into the couch to watch Twilight.

Shut up.

I decided I had nothing to lose, and there wasn't anything else I wanted to watch, so I'd give it a try. I can say now that I have a real reason to dislike Twilight other than just knowing it was crap--because now I've watched it. I'll admit, though, the first one was pretty amusing in a it's-just-so-bad-it's-good way. Midway through, one of mine hosts joined me and we watched/mocked it together. Her boyfriend then arrived and he joined is as well as we watched the second one--which honestly just didn't make sense half the time. But I guess the main audience of these films is too busy drooling over the boys to notice that what's happening in front of them is completely inexplicable.

So yeah. In a new country, using new money, learning the ins and outs of the renting market, and watching Twilight. It's just been one week full of new experiences.

Which brings me to another.

Wasting time on Stroud Green Rd during my viewings, I stopped in at a cheapo store to see what sort of fun gadgets they had. In addition to mugs and kitchenware, bedding and mats, and some various school supplies, there was also a mouse pad with a rather disturbing supposedly sexy woman on it. And the squishy bump that you rest your wrist on was made up her boobs--so there was a nice little dip in the middle to rest in.. But you could have your choice of the left or the right boob in case you needed a bit more cushioning.

Then I got to the toy section. In addition to packaged of toy animals that all seemed to be in fornicating positions, there was black furry luv cuffs between toy cars and puzzles. And then the dolls. There were plastic dolls on sale, and for this particular brand there was a white doll and a black doll. The label on the white doll's packaging said "Gemma." Ah, ok, so that's the brand, ie, the name of the doll. Little Gemma! How adorable.

The black doll's name? "My friend."

Wow. In the immortal words of Rebecca, I don't think we even need to discuss this.

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What other interesting things are there? Oh, the word twat. Yes, very offensive to us Americans, no?

Not here in Britain! I mean, sure, it's a naughty word, but it's thrown around quite liberally. But what makes it so much more amusing is the pronunciation. We say twat, rhyming with "swat." Mine hosts and the rest of the English, as far as I know, say twat, rhyming with cat.

Just say it yourself a few times, with a British accent, perhaps in the context of "What a complete and utter twat!" and you'll see why it's so amusing.

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Earlier this week there was also a great culture clash in the realm of shrimp chips versus prawn crackers (which is still utterly amusing).

Thrift stores and consignment shops versus charity shops.

It took a few minutes to get on the same wavelength. As I tried to explain myself, Marianne finally leaned forward and, very slowly and loudly, asked me

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?"

Clearly, we were speaking different languages. At first mine hosts thought that by thrift stores I meant places like Costco, so I had to explain that thrift stores are used clothing and things sold for cheap, oftentimes connected to some sort of philanthropic initiative. Ah, a charity shop!

Contact!

But what was this consignment shop business? The idea was unheard of. Getting money for your used clothing? Sharing the profits with the shop?

Marianne was intrigued. Charity is good and all, but if you can make a few quid out of it, why not?

Another triumph for the American pursuit of capitalist gain!

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I won't go into great detail, here, but I've really been enjoying British tv. During the day I often watch Top Gear, the greatest car show ever. But in the evening I've watched some programs with the girls, and am thoroughly amazed. Honestly, I can't make an accurate comparison because I don't watch reality tv in the US. But I think it's automatically more amusing over here because there are British people involved.

Some of the programs I've watched:

The X Factor--basically the same as American Idol, but in the UK. They let some truly horrid people pass through. And it's really addicting.

Don't Tell the Bride--a couple gets 12000 quid to plan their wedding...but on the condition that the groom plans everything without telling the bride anything. Apparently what usually happens is the guy is more or less disorganized, spends a ton of money on the stag party and other stuff, and then leaves his bridge without a hair stylist and without a hen party. Also, the men usually pick exactly what the bride said she didn't want when the camera was on her earlier, but it all generally turns out alright in the end--she's just so happy to be getting married that it doesn't really matter.

Young, Dumb, and Living Off Mum--Wow. Basically, a bunch of "kids" (early 20s and thereabouts) who have no life skills are kicked out of the house and live together, having to learn how to do laundry, cook, get jobs, etc. There are work challenges, and then eliminations based on who isn't making progress. Whoever wins gets a trip around the world. As amusing as it is, though, the show is desperately flawed. The kids who need the help the most and aren't learning are kicked out and sent back home to "Mum," while rather than making a well-balanced life the goal, instead it's a trip around the world. So...after finally learning more or less how to do shit, all of a sudden they don't have to do anything anymore! And can go off gallivanting around the world for free. Ironic?

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Oh, and it's true--often times they don't get what you mean when you say bathroom or restroom. Rebecca asked if she could use the bathroom/restroom in the Muswell Hill flat, and the tenant was thoroughly confused until I jumped in and said "loo." It just feels a bit awkward saying words like that in anything but an English accent, though.